Love like it doesnt hurt
by Carol Nawali
Summary: Its a special holiday, and Relena cant get a speical someone out of her mind One shot pure fluff! 1XR


A friend once told me "dance as if nobody's watching, love like its not going to hurt" I took that advice to heart, and soon it was no longer advice but almost…a way of life. Almost.

I had danced with many a suitor, and I watched as everyone around me fell in love. Duo and Hilde, Sally and Wufie, Quatre was with Dorothy, and the name less clown was with the beautiful knife thrower. My elder brother, Zechs, fell in love with the lady Noin as well. Where was I left? Easy…

Alone…

I danced with many a suitor, and each had fallen in love. Love with me, but their love…was…unrequited. Why was it that those men were not afraid to love, or be loved, but yet _'he' _was? Why was it that I was willing to love even if it hurt me, but _'he' _wasn't?

So here I am, single, lonely Relena Darlin, or peacecraft, which ever you preferred, sitting on a bench near the garden. I watched as the snow flakes fell from the heavens above and sighed wistfully.

My house was full of happy people, happily dancing, and feeling the great impacts of love. Today was in fact valentines day, and I had thrown a large ball for my friends, and well it went from just friends to co-workers, to suitors, to well…the public. My room is now crowded with flowers and candies that I half-heartedly accepted, knowing full well I'd eat the candies out of depression, and then later burn the flowers to rid them from my site.

Yes, I'm mad. Yes I know it doesn't seem like a Relena Darlin thing to do. Yes, I know it doesn't seem like a thing a member of the Peacecraft family would do, but I'm going to do it none the less.

Why?

Because to day SUCKS!

I groaned inwardly and tossed my head back. It was simply amusing to think I could use that word in my own thoughts but was practically forbade to speak it out loud. So much for being a normal teen, eh?

I was soon pulled out of my revere however when I heard the sounds of footsteps tapping against the cement sidewalk coming in my direction. My heart quickly leapt into my throat and I tried to remain cool. Taking a deep breath, I stood and turned to face the man I had wanted to see for three years! Hee-

My eyes visibly drooped and I let out my held breath. "…Duo"

Duo cocked his head to the side at my pouting expression and smiled "Nope! Santa Clause! Ho ho ho!"

I frowned slightly and returned to my seat not wishing to make a reply to his wise ass remark.

"Ho?"

I turned my head to the side and glared at him much in the manner Heero would glare at someone and flicked him off. To my amusement his eyes widened a great deal and he coughed on the air he had been breathing in. "Holy Shinigami!" He chocked out and stared at me as if I had grown two other heads.

I tried to stifle a depressed giggle before looking forward once again. Noticing this, Duo walked around the bench and sat next to me, staring at me with his cobalt colored eyes. I pursed my lips slightly but refused to look at him, my eyes brimming with unshed tears. I sniffled slightly hoping it wasn't heard and let out a quivered breath.

He sighed deeply and wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him laying my head on his shoulder. "Hey, hey there princess" he soothed to me and brought his free hand to rub my hair. "What's the matter?"

I chocked slightly refusing to answer truthfully "I-I-" I sighed in defeat. What was I going to say? "It's…nothing"

Duo frowned, that's what he should have expected from me. "Well, if it's nothing you should go back in and dance some more. Or at least mingle; you know everyone misses you inside."

I shook my head slightly drooping my head down low allowing my bangs to cover my eyes. "No…thanks Duo. Perhaps I shall return later, but not at the current time. Thank you for your kind offer however."

Duo sighed deeply. "You sure Princess?" He asked me again looking deeply at me and again I nodded. With another sigh he murmured an ok and stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets he walked back towards the exist of the garden where he was greeted by Hilde.

"She coming?" She asked her boyfriend, who looked back at me and then looked at Hilde with a scornful look in his eyes. "No." He snapped and she looked at him for but a moment before realizing.

"Oh…"

"Damn you Yuy" He muttered as he felt Hilde wrap her arm around his and lead him back into the ballroom.

So here I am, again, alone. Some how it seems like it was meant to be like this. Why else would I be alone all the time if I wasn't meant to be alone? _Because you chase everyone away_ my mind answered bitterly.

"That's not true" I muttered to myself.

_Oh? Whom haven't you chased away?_

"Heero"

_That's how come he's not here, right?_

"I know I didn't chase him away…" I spoke but my voice wavered with uncertainty.

_Yes, yes you did. You chased him away with your annoying self, and your infatuation with him. You scared him away, admit it!_

"NO!" I shrieked, my voice echoing through the garden. "I-I" I stood up my hands curling into fists "I-I" I couldn't finish it…I collapsed, my large lavishing ball gown pooling around me. "I did…" I whispered hoarsely not wanting to admit it, but knew I had to. I did. I chased him away.

"You talking to yourself Relena?" A husky voice called out and I looked at the person surprised. "Trowa…" Beside him stood Catherine bloom, Noin and Zechs. They all gave me sympathetic looks. It was my brother who spoke, but I had first seen Trowa. I sniffled again wiping away the tears that I had only now realized had spilled. "Um…" I sniffled trying to stand up right.

"No need for explanations" Catherine said in a soothing voice coming to my side and taking my arm. "Come now, we'll get you cleaned up"

Finding no room to argue I nodded meekly and allowed her to lead me out of the gardens. Zechs and Noin followed suite but Trowa sighed and looked around the garden. "Nice Yuy, nice" he murmured before, he to, turned and walked out.

Catherine had to all but shove me up the stairs to avoid me from being seen by the men in the room, which could had lead to disaster if they saw my tear streaked face. Once upstairs she ushered me into one of the large bathrooms in my mansion and quickly started up the water.

With a sigh I walked beside her and watched as she tested the water to see if it was to hot or not. "So what's the matter Ms. Relena?" She asked her voice tinted with sympathy. She already knew, they all knew, that's why they were acting the way they were. Couldn't they just leave me alone?

"Nothing" I replied simply and she nodded, not pushing the matter further and pointing to the water. "Here you go dear, just clean up and join us down stairs, mmkay?" She asked in a sweet voice, though it sounded more as a demand then a request. I nodded slightly and began the task of washing my face.

Downstairs however Trowa and Duo were talking about what was going on with my current mood.

"Did you see princess? She was all silent and by herself in the garden it was…sad"

"Silent? We found her crying and yelling at no one" Trowa informed as Quatre and Wufie joined the four ex-pilots. "What's going on over here?" The blonde piped in a cheerful tone, till he looked at everyone's expression.

"Um…what _is_ going on over here?" He asked in a more serious tone.

"Yuy" both Duo and Trowa answered together.

Wufie gritted his teeth. "I don't know, which is more unjust, her whining about him not staying, or him not staying"

Quatre nodded his head, wondering slightly if 'unjust' was the word to use in such a situation.

"I don't like it." Duo stated as he leaned against a wall near the punch bowl. "I mean, she's been mopping around for 3 years now, I actually hoped she would change, you know maybe actually look at the guys around her" he spoke motioning with his head at all the single men around.

The three others nodded in agreement. "But that's not happening." Quatre spoke what was on everyone's mind. Again they all nodded and shifted their gazes up towards the stairs in which they had last seen the former 'queen of earth' run off to.

I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was a mess, my eyes were red and my face was a bit puffy and tear stained. Sighing I dropped two hands in the luke warm water Catherine had drawn for me and scooped it up splashing it on my face.

I continued this motion a few more times before I heard a sound of knocking on the bathroom door. With a sigh I walked over to a towel and dried my face slightly before going to the door and opening it, apon seeing whom it was I let out a shriek of pure joy.

Catherine, Hilde, Dorothy, and Sally were the first to hear the shriek and ran upstairs immediately, mistaking the happy shriek for one of terror. However when they got there they saw there was no danger, just…Lady Une and her adopted daughter, Mariemaia.

They smiled slightly as they watched me walk up and hug both of the females. "What brings you here?" I asked cheerfully and Une motioned to the smaller girl. "Mariemaia missed you and thought it would be wonderful to visit you."

I looked down at the girl who seemed to no longer hold an 'evil' bone in her body and smiled. "Oh really?" I asked and my smile widened as the little girl nodded her head. "Well then, welcome!" I greeted happily and Mariemaia smiled and took my hand.

"Can…we talk?" She asked in an almost timid way and I looked down at her confused but nodded. Offering her my hand, I lead her down to my bedroom in which I promptly opened and motioned for her to take a seat on my bed. Nodding she ran up and hopped onto the bed as I closed the door behind us.

"Now what is it you wished to talk about Mariemaia?"

"Heero!" she piped happily, and my eyes widened in shock, then shined happily, then drooped down to sadness. "Oh really?" I asked slowly with a tinge of sadness.

The young girl nodded her head enthusiastically. "I saw him downstairs and he asked me if I could tell you in private that he wished to dance with you in the gardens!"

My heart leaped into my throat. "REALLY?" I shrieked happily and Mariemaia nodded her head happily. "Yep, he said…" she cleared her throat and put on a blank expression and mocked the monotone voice she had heard "'go find Relena for me little girl, and when you see her, tell her I'd like to have a dance with her in the gardens, and tell her to come alone'" She smiled relaying the message.

I quickly turned on me heel and ran out the room shouting "THANKS MARIEMAIA" and ran towards the gardens.

Sure enough as I got there, I saw a tall figure in a blue suite. With a smile I walked over to the figure who's, back was towards me and tapped his shoulder. "Heero?" I asked trying to conceal the pure joy in my voice, and waited excitedly as the figure nodded.

Slowly he turned around to face me and for the third time today I shrieked. "Y-Y-YOUR NOT HEERO!" I stammered and took a step back and the man grinned a toothy grin and reached into his jacket's pocket. I turned to run but soon a gun shot hit the pot next to me "Don't move Relena" The man threatened and I paused, and turned to look at him defiantly.

"Shoot me" I dared, and the man looked at me confused, as if asking me 'shouldn't you say DON'T shoot me?'

"Shoot me" I repeated and stared the man deliberately in the eyes. "I wish not to live this sorrowful life alone, and if you are so bent apon killing me that you'd stoop as low as to fake your identity, then shoot me."

Just as I finished my short speech a gunshot rang in the air and I winced awaiting the painful, yet sweet oblivion to over come me. But it never came…instead the sound of something metallic hitting the floor was heard and the mans pained groans filled my ears.

When I re-opened my eyes I saw the man clenching his wrist painfully and crying out horrified phrases. I swallowed and looked up to where I figured the shot came from, despite the situation, I could not help but pray it was Heero himself, but to my dismay on top of my balcony stood Duo with a gun in his hand.

An hour later saw to the man being seen off the grounds by Lady Une and I was sitting in a chair…in the ballroom, with suitors asking me to dance here and there. I politely turned them down and sighed heavily as I brought one hand to cup my face.

However, silence did not last long for me as I heard a man clear his voice. Looking up I saw the braided Shinigami staring at me. "Hi duo…"

Duo smiled and waved a piece of paper in front of my face before allowing me to take it. With a tip of his imaginary hat he smiled and left me with the paper.

I unfolded it carefully to see a few words scribbled on it that read _'forget about him, move on_

_Your 4 protectors'_

I sighed and nodded. Perhaps they were right.

That night I brushed my hair free of tangles and slowly climbed into bed. "What a disaster today was" I groaned pitifully and turned to turn off the light that lit up my room. With a sigh I stared up at the dark ceiling of my room before rolling on my side to have my face come in contact with something soft and velvety.

With a smile I reached up and gripped the worn out teddy bear and pulled him close to me in a tight embrace. "You wont leave me will you?" I questioned the gift, whose eyes were dull and listless. "I didn't think so. With you, I will never be alone I suppose"

I tried to close my eyes but sleep seemed to elude me. I groaned in despair and sat up right picking at a loose string on my beds comfiture. "I AM destined to be alone aren't I?"

"Why do you say that?" I held my breath and looked around the room for the source of the voice.

"Heero?" I questioned, but silence ensued. Reaching out I went to on the light but something gripped my wrist.

"Don't." He spoke and I nodded, but did not remove my wrist from his grasp.

"You never answered my question" He spoke after awhile and I gulped.

"Well…um...you see…"

"It seems to me that you have plenty of men who would be willing to love you if you gave them a shot"

"I don't want to though"

"Why not?"

I gulped again "Because…" I whispered softly _Because I love **you**_ I thought, but couldn't bring myself to say it.

Slowly I felt his grasp on my wrist loosen and then disappear. "Heero?" I mewled softly wondering if he was still in the room with me or if he had slipped out into the night like he was so skilled in doing.

"I'm here" He replied and I felt the side of the bed I was sitting on come down slightly at the added weight. So he was on the bed then, well at least now I'd know if he left.

"Heero…why do you always leave?"

"Why do you want me to stay?"

"Because…I…"

I looked down at the blanket again, and held my breath. The weight on the bed shifted again and soon I found his hand taking mine in his. "Because?"

I didn't reply simply stared down at my hand that was now being held in his. My eyes brimmed once more with tears that I refused to shed and I sat there…silently.

He neither spoke a word, but simply pulled on the hand that he held in his toward him, scooping me up into a light embrace.

My face flushed and the blood from my body rose to my face as he brought his hand up to my head and fiddled with the strands of my hair. He lowered his head and placed his chin on the top of my head and breathed in taking in the scent of lavender. I gulped slightly, I was uncomfortable in the embrace but did not dare to move, in fear the moment we were sharing would come to a halt.

Silence. We sat in silence for another 10 minutes, and although I could feel my arm falling asleep it was a blissful 10 minutes.

"Relena…" His voice finally broke my thoughts, I looked up at him with a questioning glance and he sighed "I have to go"

I let out a whimper. "You always leave…"

He nodded but spoke again. "Relena, I will always go off and wonder, its what I have to do till I find my place, but know this…I will always come back to you" My eyes brimmed with tears _If you didn't leave, then you wouldn't have to worry about coming back, you'd already be here…_

"How long will you be gone this time?" I asked and felt him shrug and slowly move out of our embrace. Out of instinct, I quickly grabbed his hand not wishing him to go.

"Heero, it's been 3 years, 3 long years of waiting, being lonely, and you're going to leave me again, and you don't know how long it will be? So does that mean It could be anywhere from tomorrow to never? Heero, I miss you so much that it almost hurts to live, and you leave for such long periods of time, I…I don't know what I-" I was cut off by him sitting back on the bed and him pulling me into another tight embrace.

My body racked with sobs I was holding in and he rocked us back and forth, before pushing me back slightly and leaning in. He placed a hand on the back of my neck and moved closer, I sat completely still; to baffled to do anything and soon his lips captured mine.

I was so dazed I didn't, COULDN'T respond, and as a result he quickly pulled away, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss of my own, and when we finally broke apart, so did the wall I had built up that was holding back my tears.

"Don't cry" He murmured and pulled me into his lap, his arms wrapping around my sides, his warm breath tickling my ear. "Relena, for you I'll stay a little longer"

And here I sit, Relena Darlin, or Peacecraft, which ever you prefer, in Heero Yuy's lap, and never before have I ever felt so loved.

* * *

AN: Hi there! Sorry I got this idea last night when I was having another restless night. I hate those, where no matter how HARD you try Sleep just seems to elude you. Of course it didn't help that my little brother was blaring his radio till about 1, so yeah yawns I had plenty of time to daydream and this was one of the thoughts that crossed my mind.

I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you did try checking out 'truth is a whisper' I know, It's not a one shot, and I know It only has one REALLY short chapter as of now, But I think If you liked this, then you'll like the up coming chapters!

Much love!

Carol!

REVIEW!


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